


Getting Over It

by katie_qrbgw



Series: So Goddamn Worthless [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Depression, Dubious Consent, Injury, M/M, Post-Break Up, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-18 16:29:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16998537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katie_qrbgw/pseuds/katie_qrbgw
Summary: Jack tries to get over Sam not loving him but Jack learns that people can be monsters too.





	Getting Over It

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING!!!
> 
> Please do not read if you'll be triggered my self harm, suicide or attempted rape. Also this is part two of the series so you may want to read the first part before this.

If Jack’s being honest, he’s planning on killing himself as soon as he can. There’s no point in sugarcoating it. All he wants is to die. Sam used him and lied to him and said he loved Jack when he didn’t. What is there to live for? Jack’s been walking for miles and his feet feel numb. The tears won’t stop coming. He sees the bright headlights of a Jeep coming down the highway and he drops his duffel bag on the ground, throwing himself in front of the vehicle. Everything happens in a flash. The sound of tires screeching on the pavement as the driver slams on the brake. The impact of the Jeep hitting him, sending Jack backwards and landing on the road, feeling his bones crack. His ears are ringing as unconscious starts to take over. The last thing Jack hears is the door of the vehicle squeaking open and a female voice saying, “Oh god, oh god, oh god…. Jack??”

Jack wakes up to the blinding whiteness of a hospital room. His whole body aches beyond belief and for a moment, he doesn’t know anything. Doesn’t know where he is, what happened, who he is. Slowly it all comes back to him. Leaving the bunker, getting hit by the Jeep… Sam saying he doesn’t love Jack. “I’m gonna throw up…” Jack says to no one in particular, hand covering his mouth as he feels the contents of his stomach start to rise up. He grabs a trash can off the floor next to the bed and empties his stomach. The motion of leaning over to grab the can causes pain to shoot through Jack’s side and he groans, clutching his side. God, why didn’t he die? He deserves to die. 

The door the the small hospital room opens and the last person Jack would expect walks in. “Ch-Charlie?”

The redhead smiles softly at Jack as she pulls up a chair beside the bed and sits down. “Hey Jack, how are you feeling?” she asks. Charlie and Jack knew each other quite well in Apocalypse World but Jack never expected that she was the one who’s Jeep he threw himself in front of. 

“How do you think I feel?” Jack asks bitterly and tries pulling the IV out of his arm but Charlie gently places her hands on his, stopping him. 

“Jack, you’re hurt. You can’t leave,” Charlie says. 

Tears start to blur Jack’s vision and he shakes his head, he movement giving him a headache. “I just want to die. Leave me alone.”

Charlie’s expression softens but she doesn’t let go of Jack’s hands. “What happened?”

“Sam lied to me and said he loved me. Then after we had sex he didn’t love me anymore…”

Charlie looks taken aback by Jack’s words. From what she knew of Sam Winchester, that doesn’t seem like a thing he’d do. She doesn’t really know Sam all that well but he really seemed like a good guy. But she trusts Jack more so of course she believes him. It’s a shame though. She kinda liked Sam. “Jack… I’m so sorry. But killing yourself isn’t the answer.”

“What else am I supposed to do?” Jack asks quietly, sounding completely broken and beaten down. It breaks Charlie’s heart. 

“You move on. You live your life and make something of it. You forget about Sam and find someone else that makes you happy and be with them.”

Jack shakes his head again, his headache getting worse. He needs to learn to stop doing that. “I’m in love with Sam. I don’t want anyone else.”

Charlie’s quiet for a moment and gently squeezes Jack’s hand. “You’ll get through this. We’ll get through this.”

The following weeks Jack stays in the hospital, recovering. Charlie and Jack have cut all contact with the bunker and the hunters. Charlie’s always wanted to quit hunting anyways so in a way, she’s glad to be out. If Charlie wasn’t around, Jack’s positive he would have tried to kill himself again but Charlie makes him feel less alone. Maybe she’s right and things will get better. When Jack’s released from the hospital, they find an old abandoned house just outside of Lebanon and stay there. The house has almost everything they need except groceries so Charlie heads into town to pick up a few necessities, soap, bread, milk, eggs and other groceries. Jack contemplates killing himself while Charlie is gone but he doesn’t want her to come back and find him dead. She’d be devastated and she’d blame herself. It’s not Charlie’s fault he wants to die. It’s not anyone’s fault in particular, not even Sam’s.

Charlie keeps telling Jack to move on from Sam, to go find someone who will treat him better. Jack’s not sure he wants to move on but it’s better than the pain he feels without Sam. Charlie takes Jack to a bar almost a month later with the intent of finding him someone new. The bar is loud and smells like sweat and beer and Jack already wants to go home but he said he’d try this out for Charlie. Jack’s eyes land on a guy who kinda reminds him of Sam. He’s tall like Sam and also has long hair, except his hair is blond. He has a bright smile and dimples just like Sam. 

Jack bites his lip and looks around for Charlie, seeing she’s already busy talking to a girl at the end of the bar. Jack sighs a bit and decides to go introduce himself to the attractive stranger. “Um… hello, I’m Jack,” Jack says, pulling the strangers attention away from his friend. 

His eyes look Jack up and down in almost a predatory way, making Jack feel uncomfortable. Nobody’s ever looked at Jack like that before. A smirk appears on the strangers lips and he says, “I’m Evan.”

Jack holds his hand out to shake. “It’s nice to meet you,” he says politely. Evan doesn’t shake Jack’s hand. Jack awkwardly clears his throat and he lowers his hand. “Um, how are you doing tonight?”

“Better now that I met you, darling,” Evan purrs, causing Jack to blush. 

“Oh… th-thank you…”

“Do you wanna get out of here?” Evan asks. 

Jack furrows his brows. “What do you mean?”

Evan sighs impatiently and bluntly says, “Do you want to have sex?” 

Jack’s eyes widen and his blush grows. Jack’s shocked by how forward Evan is. They barely know each other and Jack thought you were supposed to love someone before you have sex with them. If he’s being honest, he doesn’t want to have sex with Evan, but he needs to get over Sam sometime, right? “Uh…” Jack hesitates before saying, “Yes….”

Evan grins and takes his hand, leading him outside to the back alley. Jack’s about to question why they’re in an alley of all places when Evan shoves Jack up against the wall, kissing him roughly. Jack lets out a squeak but slowly kisses him back, already feeling weird about this whole thing. He tries not to think about how forceful Evan is being with him, instead letting his mind wander back to Sam. How Sam’s lips felt on his. How kind Sam always was to him. Sam’s soft hands. Sam’s smile and how contagious it is. So much for getting over Sam. 

Evan’s hands are working on Jack’s belt as he starts kissing down Jack’s neck and Jack’s pulled out of his thoughts. Before Jack knows it, Evan’s tugging his jeans down. “Um-“ Jack starts to speak up but Evan silenced him by claiming his lips in a kiss again. 

Jack doesn’t want this. He pulls back from the kiss, his body starting to shake in fear as Evan gropes his ass. “I-I want you to s-stop…” Evan pretends to not hear Jack as spreads Jack’s cheeks, rubbing his thumb over Jack’s hole. Oh god, Jack feels sick to his stomach. He places his hands on Evan’s shoulders and shoves Evan off him. “I said stop it!” he yells as he hurried to pull up his pants. 

Evan glares at Jack before swinging his fist and punching Jack across the face. Jack stumbles backwards, holding his face as he feel blood coming out of his nose. “Fucking whore,” Evan mutters as he walks off. Jack slides down the rough brick wall, hugging his knees to his chest and sobbing. Jack’s never experienced anything like this before. He never knew a human to be so cruel. He thought only monsters acted in such a way. Humans were supposed to be kind and monsters were supposed to be the bad guys. Maybe the line between human and monster was thinner than he thought. 

Charlie finds Jack in the alley crying, immediately kneeling beside him and pulling him into her arms. “Jack, what happened??”

“H-he… touched me… and I didn’t want him to… I pushed him off me and he hit me…” Jack says, his voice shaking. 

“Oh god… Jack, I’m so sorry…” Charlie whispers and hugging Jack closer. Jack weakly hugs Charlie back, feeling numb. He can’t help think that Sam would never do this to him. Sam may have broken Jack’s heart but he wouldn’t touch Jack without his permission. 

“We should go home,” Charlie speaks up after awhile. 

Jack shakes his head. “No, I don’t want to ruin your night.”

Charlie kisses Jack’s cheek. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Let’s go home. I’m tired.”

Jack stands up and helps Charlie up, giving her another quick hug before they head home. Jack locks himself in his room and searches through his duffel bag for the only thing he knows will help. He finds his razor blade and pulls it out, admiring the sharp edge of it and running his thumb over the edge of the blade, not yet cutting himself. He slices his wrists repeatedly, not caring how deep he goes. He soon starts to get light headed and passes out from how much blood he’s losing. 

Jack wakes up in the hospital yet again and groans in frustration. “Seriously, again?” he mumbles, starting to sit up. 

“Hey, lay back down. You just lost a lot of blood,” a familiar voice says and Jack turns to see who it is. 

“Sam??”


End file.
